Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
