stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
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