honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
