That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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