I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
