I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
