I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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