Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
