He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
