3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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