I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize