Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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