Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
