i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
