she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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