She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
