so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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