New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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