we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
