Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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