when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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