My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
