My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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