Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
