I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
