Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize