I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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