when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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