We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
