My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
