Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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