Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

I'll start drinking again when I know where I am

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(415): View more from California

It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.

Fav 19 6278 1731
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?

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(347): View more from New York

It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.

Fav 8 2286 1099
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.

(856): View more from New Jersey

dear god, who put you in a cab?

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(316): View more from Kansas

I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.

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(786): View more from Florida

What vodka is american?

(1-786): View more from Florida

Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.

Fav 11 2224 787
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.

(1-423): View more from Tennessee

Imagine not having to fake it.

(423): View more from Tennessee

Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.

Fav 2 24 53
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(940): View more from Texas

tell me about the fingering

Fav 0 58 3
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