New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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