I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
