I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
