Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
