I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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