I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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