and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
