you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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