So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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