I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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