He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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