He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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