In the future we'll all be gay
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
