Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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