i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
