R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
