Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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