I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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