I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
