Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
