either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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