At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
