mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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