A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
