I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize