I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
