Small penises have feelings too.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
