he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Everclear isn't food dammit
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
