Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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