He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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