can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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