Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
