so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
