i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
